Did I send a thoughtless gift to my friend with cancer?

Gifts for cancer patients

Some years ago, and with the best intentions, I sent a package of gifts to my friend with cancer. As it turns out, it was the wrong gifts. Not that my dear friend would've ever told me that she couldn't use them.

I hated that she was diagnosed with cancer. Desperately I wanted to do something for her. Something nice. Thoughtful. Caring.

This was long before I'd spent a lot of time researching and learning about appropriate gifts for someone with cancer. Before I knew for example, that if she was in hospital then flowers weren't a good choice to send - no flowers in oncology ward.

And before I learnt more about some of the cancer treatments and what are useful gifts. When I sent the gift, I didn't understand the effects of some of the treatments and how they might make her feel.

In the pack, I included bubble bath. It seemed thoughtful. A nice relaxing bubble bath always sounds lovely. I also included some decadent chocolates. Because who doesn't like chocolate? And a scented body lotion. Because I thought that would be nice on her skin.

My intentions were heartfelt, but I've since learnt there are gifts that are more helpful. If you live close, then your gift of time is one of the best. Time spent with them or doing things for them eg;

  • housework

  • lawns or gardening

  • pick up prescriptions

  • driving them to medical appointments and sitting with them if they would like you to

  • cooking a meal for them and their family

  • if they have children, driving the kids to after-school activities, sports trainings etc

If you live further away like I did, you can send thoughtful handwritten cards or text messages. (But without expecting a reply because cancer treatments can be exhausting). I wished I had sent cards more often to my friend.

Another thoughtful gesture is to send a gift around the time of any chemo or radiation treatments.

You may be wondering what was wrong with the gift package I sent?

My friend had to have surgery and chemo. To sit in a bubble bath with chemicals wouldn't have been good for her wound. (Many skincare and body products contain lots of chemicals). Her body was already overloaded with chemicals from chemo. Extra chemicals from bubble bath and body lotion, wasn't going to help her immune system.

The perfumed lotion and bubble bath make some people feel nauseous after chemo. And chocolate! When you've been vomiting from chemo? What was I thinking?

I really wanted to do something nice for her. Now I've learnt there are more thoughtful gifts. Natural skincare without chemicals. A nice lipbalm because cancer treatments often result in dry and chapped lips. A soft throw blanket for treatment day, because people often feel cold during chemo. Nice new slippers for hospital stays.

Check out more ideas here for cancer gift hampers

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Testimonials

"My friend in hospital received her cancer gift parcel today and absolutely loved it.  The nurses loved it so much they took photos of it!  Thanks so much :)"

Linda Bellinger, Shannon Horowhenua District (May 2020)

"The hamper was a gift for my sister who was delighted to receive it – she said the wheat bag is the perfect size for taking to hospital and the balm will also be most appreciated there.  She had also though about getting a journal but hadn’t gotten around to it, so was delighted with the one in the hamper.

Thanks for much for helping me give her a little surprise during what is a really tough time."

Sue Downing, Branch Manager, BNZ Invercargill

"Hi Vicki
I can't thank you enough for prioritising my order to reach my dear friend before her treatment. It was delivered Monday afternoon and her treatment starts today Tuesday afternoon, such amazing service. My friend called me upon the delivery of her hamper, she was excited & overwhelmed on the presentation of the hamper but most of all how ideal the items are for her to use during her treatment sessions. It also gave me a beautiful feeling to know that I could make her feel special and bring on some light to her day. Thank you Vicki, I will definitely be using this site again and will recommend everyone to do so :) "
Cheers, Diane Mahomed, Auckland

"Today we received a beautiful gift that my sister Clare had organised with you.

We wanted to say how beautiful the gift was, the ribbons, box, card, all so thoughtful.

We will definitely use you for gifts in future, and I’m about to post you all over Facebook in the hope that others will.

Thank you again."

Adrian & Ruth Williams, Hibiscus Coast, Auckland

"Thank you so much for the lovely gift that you put together for our corporate client. Such a quick, smooth and easy process and the recipients loved the yummy treats which were included".

Carla Kruger, Smartscan 360, Auckland

"Thank you so much, excellent service, and my friend loved her gift :) "

Marion Gardner, NZ

To see more testimonials, please click here

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Recently Love to Give purchased 7 bikes for kids to get to school, five school uniforms, and school stationery packs for 10 Cambodian school children, through the Cambodia Charitable Trust (Theresa Gattung, Denise Arnold, Nadia Lim). www.cctnz.org.nz

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© 2016 Love To Give Ltd, Auckland.

Funky Gift Boxes Trading As Love to Give Ltd Auckland, New Zealand

vicki@lovetogive.co.nz  / 021 398 941,  +64 21 398 941

712 Tahekeroa Road, Wainui, Auckland