The Woman Everyone Comes To - Who Does She Go To?
Sunday Magazine
There’s probably one in your family.
The person everyone rings when something needs sorting, remembering or simply talking about.
You might even be her. So here’s the question: Who does she go to?
The dependable one
Being the person others can rely on is a lovely thing.
You remember the appointment. Check in on Mum. Notice when a friend has gone quiet. Somehow, you know what’s happening with everyone. But the thing about being the dependable one. is, people can start to assume you’re fine. Not because they don’t care. Quite the opposite. You just look like you’ve got it handled. And most of the time, you probably do.
Until you don’t.
Sometimes we don’t need fixing
Sometimes the most useful thing you can offer is simply your attention. A phone call, a coffee catch-up, You don’t have to know what to say. You don’t have to fix anything. Sometimes being there is enough.
NZ research about loneliness
New Zealand research shows that people can have regular contact with family and friends and still feel lonely. It isn’t simply about how many people are around us. It’s about whether we feel connected in the way we want to be.
Sometimes it’s about feeling seen by the people you already have. That feels important.
Life changes
As we get older, life can change shape.
Children leave home. People retire. Friends move. Parents need more help. Someone starts living alone. Someone moves into a retirement village.
Some of these changes are difficult. Others are exciting. But even a good change can take some getting used to. And that’s when a small gesture can mean more than we realise.
A call from an old friend, or an invitation for coffee. Or a little something arriving at the door with a note saying: “I thought of you.”
We don’t always need a reason to check in with friends and family
We don't need to wait for a birthday, an illness, a new baby or some other big life event before we think about sending a little kindness.
What if we didn’t need a reason?
What if “I thought of you” was reason enough? Especially for the woman who is usually doing the thinking for everyone else.
Maybe she just needs to know that somebody noticed her. So if someone came to mind while you were reading this, don’t overthink it.
Send the text.
Make the call.
Ask her for coffee.
Or simply tell her:
I thought of you today.
🩷 Because the woman everyone comes to deserves someone to come to her, too.
Sometimes the smallest gesture can say the most.
Comments